Lost Soul
by MesserGirl
Summary: He nodded his head, and as a tear fell from his eyes he blinked. When he opened his eyes again. She was gone, he was alone. But he knew the feeling. One-shot !


_**Quick little one-shot. Just something I kinda' had to get off my chest. So I know after 'The God Complex' This is going to be really stupid as they've got one big thing in common. But ahh well, here it is.**_

_**Ohh by the way, it's got nothing to do with the series.**_

It had been a hellova few hours. He'd taken Amy to see the wonderful planet of 'Exodion'. And within a few hours she'd wandered off. Didn't people realise he made rules for a reason. But none of them seemed to listen. Not Rose, or Martha. Or any of them and now Amy had landed herself in a whole pile of trouble.

He'd gone to rescue her of course. It was Amy we were talking about. He'd do anything for that girl and he knew she knew it too.

He'd found her a few hours later, tied to a chair, barely alive.

He'd given his best 'If she dies, so help me God.. ' Speech. His best yet, he thought.

He'd taken her back to the TARDIS. And gone straight to her room. Not bothering to take her to the medical bay. Tucking her under the red cover. She did seem to like red.. And short things.

"Night Pond" He whispered

He knew she needed to sleep, so he kissed her on the cheek and went to the console of the TARDIS, knowing something would need fixing, no doubt about it.

He sat down comfortably and started moving wires about, not exactly sure what wires they were.

He needed to keep himself occupided while Amy rested, he's forgotten she didn't to sleep, 'Why couldn't she be a Time Lord or Time Lady.

"I forgive you" He heard her whisper.

He moved his head slightly to the left, and smiled when their eyes met.

He stood up and dusted himself off. Taking a step towards her.

She took a step back "Just.. Just stay there please."

He looked at her confused "Why ?" He asked

"Because.. You just have to" She stumbled out.

He attempted to take another step towards her to try to comfort her.

"No, just.. Please" She begged.

He nodded

"Doctor, You really should know how much I love you. I trust you with my life, I believe in you. But most of all I do love you, probably more than I should"

She didn't say anything for a few seconds and this gave him time to think. Was she asking to go home, or was she trying to tell him that she'd fallen in love with him, Neither were good in his book.

"I love you too Amy, You know I do. But.."

She cut him off, knowing what he was going to say "I know, I know. I'm not asking to be taken home, and i'm not confessing my feelings to you either. I have to tell you something, something you probably won't want to hear."

"Amy, you're scaring me." He told her truthfully.

"I know, pretty emotional stuff" She said laughing despite the tears in here eyes.

"I don't know exactly why i'm here or how even. But i'll make the most of it. Because that's what you do, right"

He stood three meters away from her. But he felt more distant than he had ever done with her, he was always close to her. But now.. She felt like she wasn't really there.

"I did. A really stupid, stupid thing and now I guess I have to.. Live with it. How ironic." She tried to smile but failed miserably. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. showing her green fingernails and all he could think about was how he liked them better when she painted them purple.

"Amy, What did you do ?. I can help you."

She chuckled lightly. "You can't. Not now. It's too late, it's done. But I need two huge favours ?"

The Doctor nodded.

She sighed. "I need you to, tell Rory. Tell him i'm sorry." She said as she burst into tears. The Doctor tried to take a step towards her but she help her hand up in protest.

"Tell him, Tell him it's not his fault. It's.." She struggled to get the next few words out. "It's my fault."

She stopped breathing for a few seconds trying to calm her self down, not wanting to cry. She groaned. "This isn't fair" She told herself.

She ran a hand through her hair.

And when she looked at him, She couldn't remember what she wanted to tell him He looked scared, worried, confused. And a hole other bunch of emotions.

He hadn't interruppted her, in her little speech. He knew she needed to tell him something and he knew she would.. In her own time.

"My second favour is.. Well it's a whole bunch of little ones really." She smiled at him and he smiled back, weakly.

"You need to forgive yourself" She told him

If she thought he had looked confused before, now he was definitely confused now.

"There's no point in looking back anymore. Number 2; You need to find someone else, find someone just as brilliant, someone just as crazy, someone like you." She smiled and he frowned.

Was she leaving him, He thought, 'Cause it sounded like that.

"And finally Number 3; You need to, " She sighed. "You have to move it.. Move my body."

The half smile ran away with the colour on his face as soon as she said the word 'Body'

Amy wasn't dead !

He took three big strides over to her and just as she was about to tell him not do, he raised his hand and attempted to grab Amy's hand. But instead he grabbed air.

She was a hollograph !

"No, no. I saved you !" He yelled.

"No, you didn't" She said as she cried more. "But it's ok, Because you've saved so many lives and what's losing one. When you've saved millions.

"Because it's you !" He yelled. But not at her.

"It's ok. you can't save everyone, I know you can't, you know it too." She told him as a salty tear ran down her pale face.

"No, no, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" He yelled as each word got louder.

He kicked the console expecting pain to take over his foot. But he didn't it was just numb, his whole body was.

"Please, don't" She begged.

He screamed in frustration. "But I saved you, I took you to your bed and let you sleep. You're asleep in your bed."

She shook her head.

He just didn't understand. Why she had died ?. Why she had not known that. It just didn't make sense. He hated it. He really did hate it.

"I just want you to know. I will, always love you Doctor. My raggedy man."

She smiled as she finished the words.

He didn't want to smile, he just wanted to.. he didn't know. But he just wanted to punch and kick and scream.

She couldn't be dead, he wouldn't let her die. She was Amelia jessica Pond for crying out loud. He loved her, but because he loved her, he'd let her go.

"please. Do as I ask." She asked him

He nodded his head, and as a tear fell from his eyes he blinked.

When he opened his eyes again. She was gone, he was alone. But he knew the feeling.


End file.
